Nov. 9: Write a love letter to yourself.

My love letter to myself is a love letter that has been written for many years......

Dear Craig,

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1st Corinthians 13 4-7

That's my love letter and that will always be in my heart. 

Before I go on....

Before I go on I will like to say is that I love my dad and mom. All of my experiences is my experiences. It's coming from of place of how I saw it. Every detail of my life or how I saw it may not be the exact truth but it's as close to it as possible from what I know and remember when I was younger. 

Nov. 8: What’s holding you back from living your best life right now?

Resistance! I know now that resistance is a big part of why I'm not in the positions I want to be in my life. Resistance shows up in everyone's  life. It only shows up when your trying to do better or do something great for your life or someone else's. It has always been resistance there when I have tried to loos weight and bulk up. It's been there in school, I have always not truly done school work understanding everything because it's been resistance there. Anything and everything that I do that would better my life or someone else life resistance has been present. And it's up to me to say how did I overcome resistance today. 

Nov. 7: What do you wish your parents would’ve done more of for you/with you growing up?

I think the only thing I wish I gotten as a child from my parents is more transparent and open conversations. I don't know if it's because I didn't talk that much as a child or if I never felt comfortable talking to my parents openly about any an everything. All I know is that I'm trying to be more open about my life especially with my mom. So I think open communication with only love and understanding and advice is what I needed more growing up and what I'm seeking now.

Nov. 6: Think about your close circle. What does it say about you? Whatdo you provide each other?

Lol how great! The thing that has been the vain of my existence for the past 6 months pops up! I have lost 3 friends well at least what I considered friends. The past 6 months has been a learning experience. This is to Timothy.....Tavarus....and the one I didn't see coming Jayda. I will be completely honest on all three accounts 2 of them Timothy and Tavarus burned me to the point I have been broke....out at least $3,000 in combine with both of them. Life will throw you lessons to be learned and I think I got these lessons. I have learned to be more aware of who I truly invite in my life and who I call friends. Some of these people truly didn't have my back and put me in damaging situations. I've also learned to NOT TRUST ANYONE 100% I will always air on my side for now on. I will always ask myself how will this effect me? Why are they asking? God is this what I should be doing?  I have held my tounge to long . Y'all have burned me to my core I trusted y'all and have always thought highly of my friends my peoples my extended family. Smh to y'all. Jayda B. my trust diminished over business I will never mix business and friends together ever ever! I will do everything on my own. I love Jayda but I'm not down with her right now. Maybe one day it will be fine but as for now it would take her explaining her so called "business decisions".

Now to my friends that I know are truly there! The Three girls that have been in my life from the beginning Ebony, Britnei and Misha. I know at the end of it all yallllllll will always be there for me. At the core of me each of you represent who I am, want to be more like, and love DEARLY!! I love y'all 

To Daphne and Eboni y'all are everything I desire to be I do look up to y'all. I look in amazement at how two fly ass young woman are making moves in Atlanta. Y'all never stop. And both of y'all do it looking good! ;) 

What some of y'all taught me was that I was hanging with liers, thieves, stunt...queens (This is not you Jayda). It really made me step back and say you don't want to go down that road. I have always done self reflections and I have always believed your company is who you are. I had to clean house and I'm pretty sure I have some more dust to sweep off this porch.

But the magnitude of Greatness I get from my real friends has always been full of laughter, random moments frozen in our memories, LOVE, SUPPORT and LOYALTY. My inner circle may continue to get smaller but my heart will never. 

Nov. 5: Write a good-bye letter to anything that has hurt you. Dig deep with this one.

I want to say Goodbye to so much. Will they be gone from this day forward I doubt it. But will I work every single day until it's a lesser reminder in my life. That I will do. I say goodbye to feeling inadequate. I need to Feel that my just BEING is worth just as much as someone that has everything I think I want. I say goodbye to not being in that space of power. Holding my head up and saying to myself I am EVERYTHING that I am and I'm proud of it!! When we are in the midst of loss, or betrayal, or crisis of any kind, there is power in the words, "Be still and know I am." Truth can never be destroyed. There is no loss except in time, and time really does not exist. Goodbye to my yesterday's and goodbye to my future. The only thing that matters is NOW! Now is the source to which we should live by. My past and that future of mine has no relevance on what's happening now. I wipe my tears knowing that I'm find saying goodbye and dammit so many of us needs to simply say goodbye.....

Nov. 4: In a perfect world you would…?

In a prefect world, I would be everything that God intended me to be. I would be a modern day Jesus. So filled with love, compassion, power, dignity, strength, courage. Things that I'm striving to be in this world. I would be forever grateful, thankful and appreciative. I wouldn't allow fear to creep into my life. In a perfect world my happiness wouldn't be circumstance dependent. I think that the perfect world is near and approaching. Gods "On Earth as it is in Heaven" is right now. Everything that could change in the world is right now in this moment. Now if we choose to live in that space is up to us. What's true in the physical world is the exact opposite in the spiritual world. The more you have in the piece of the pie in the spiritual world the more everyone else has. The more you have in the physical world the less everyone else has. I want more pie for everyone. That's the perfect world to me